The decline of the media industry captured in cocktail party conversation

May 14th, 2013 § 6

May 2011
Random Person at Party: So, what do you do?
Ylva: I work in media.
RPaP: Oh, that must be fun.

May 2012
Random Person at Party: So, what do you do?
Ylva: I work in media.
RPaP: Oh, that must be challenging. You know, [insert one or more of the following, albeit in much longer version: I will never pay for any kind of media again (+ apologetic smile). | My children won't pay for any kind of media, but I do like the smell of print on paper (+ equally apologetic smile, illogically). | Other people's children won't pay for any kind of media, and should be put down.]
Ylva, trying to break through rant: …. digital… exciting… opportunities… business models… consumer-centred… etc…
RPaP: So to sum up, challenging, very challenging, Armageddon basically.
Ylva: Actually, I was going to get a glass of wine, so…
RPaP: Well, you do need it.

May 2013
Random Person at Party: So, what do you do?
Ylva: I work in media.
RPaP: That must be…
Ylva, trying to avoid the unavoidable: YES! IT IS REWARDING, INTERESTING AND HIGHLY ENJOYABLE to be in media at the moment, really perfect for someone who likes doing business creatively, the internet and people making magic in equal measures.
RPaP: No, no, I meant to say challenging. You see, I will never pay for any kind of media again, my children won’t pay for any kind of media, and I hear that other people’s children now expect to be paid for being arsed to consume media.
Ylva, trying to break through rant: …. innovate… mobile… new… thrilling… disruptive, in a good way… etc…
RPaP: So to sum up, you will be out of work any day now. Perhaps tonight even, check your phone for messages.
Ylva: Actually, I was going to get a glass of wine, so…
RPaP: Can you afford that? Under the circumstances.

May 2014
Random Person at Party: So, what do you do?
Ylva: I’m on temporary release actually, just for the weekend. Normally I’m doing time at Hinseberg, Sweden’s largest women’s prison. 25 to life.
RPaP: Aha. What, if you don’t mind me asking…?
Ylva: It’s no secret. I had a nervous breakdown and killed a Random Person at a party, after s/he had pestered me with anecdotal evidence of the decline of legacy media and some misguided pity. You see, I used to work in media, and I loved it but this endless monologue repeated from various RPaP:s just made me lose it. So, I bludgeoned him/her to death with a triple magnum bottle of wine I had just ordered to make a point. And here I am, now.
RPaP: Oh. Well, at least it got you out of the media industry.
Because that must have been really challenging.

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